In Memory of My Wife, Elise Cawley, with Thanks for 36 Wonderful Years
Comments
cube00
iammjm
Stephen has been documenting his life for decades now. He talks about his system here: https://writings.stephenwolfram.com/2019/02/seeking-the-prod...
detourdog
A read a story of a guy who bumped into him at conference and had some sort of conversation. The following week he received a follow-up from Wolfram's office with his assigned conversation number. The number was to be used for all follow-ups.
smallerize
There are probably lots of stories from various people, but here is one: http://blog.wilshipley.com/2010/03/ted-2010.html#:~:text=%E2...
(If the location link doesn't work, scroll down about halfway to the story next to his photo.)
detourdog
Probably I used to read his blog.
MengerSponge
I remember reading about a personal CRM project called Monica years ago. Does anyone here still use it? Is there an actively maintained alternative?
bharatsuthar
I used their hosted platform about 8 years ago and It went down many times. I just checked it today and to my surprise, my data is still there. Very glad to find it.
rsolva
I still have an instance of it running and get email reminders about birthdays, but no, I don't think it has been actively developed for years.
wahern
TIL: https://www.monicahq.com/ and https://github.com/monicahq/monica
Last commit was a little over 11 months. There do seem to be a couple of signifiant security issues opened since then, with no response. Someone created a fork: https://github.com/brycehans/monica
QuantumNomad_
There should be more forks of it, simply because each of the other forks so obviously need to pick the remaining names from that song that goes
A little bit of Monica in my life
https://genius.com/Lou-bega-mambo-no-5-a-little-bit-of-lyric...
eej71
There was also iwantsandy but that might be a bit too obscure now!
RataNova
That line about feeling as though they had just met was devastating. Thirty-six years can contain an entire life and still feel impossibly brief once the person is gone.
sebmellen
I met Stephen in 2023 at some MIT AI conference. He was the kindest, most grandfatherly person. I was expecting to meet a relatively pontifical person given some of his work, but he was such the opposite that I was completely taken aback. I spent two hours that evening with him and a small group of people talking about language and maths and so on. (He was very kind to let me take a photo: https://postimg.cc/LYmVCs0G)
That conversation had a tremendous impact on me and completely changed my attitude towards meeting new people.
I am heartbroken for him and his family. And I can see that kind / heartfelt / grandfatherly nature throughout this memoriam.
And please, God, let me die with my wife like John Nash did in that NJ Turnpike taxi crash.
jvdsf
I will be honest with you, this is my worst nightmare- to die after my wife. Life will be here without her, but it will be without her light.
beardedwizard
> And please, God, let me die with my wife like John Nash did in that NJ Turnpike taxi crash.
amen brother.
ajb
This is a moving tribute. Stephen Wolfram's writing often has certain faults, which I mention only to be able to say that he has here transcended them; this is a genuine and heartfelt piece of writing which makes me feel sad for his loss.
ACS_Solver
Yes, it's a very well written, touching tribute and I think it's all the more touching when you're familiar enough with Wolfram's writings to notice the contrast here.
arm32
It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever read in my entire life. The reader departs both fallen in love with Elise and tragically heartbroken. Excuse me while I go cry some more in the laundry room, collect myself and annoy my wife with a huge hug.
RataNova
He is not trying to impress the reader so much as preserve as much of her as he can while the memories are still vivid
kreelman
Vale Elise.
senderista
This was really moving and sincere. It made me think of my dad's catastrophic stroke while recovering from brain surgery. I wish that, like Wolfram's wife, he had died instantly on the operating table instead of enduring six years of agony for himself and everyone else.
reassess_blind
That’s tough. Sorry that you all had to go through that.
adamredwoods
It's a profound thing to lose someone that intertwined in your life. I should know.
keane
I'm sorry to hear that. My deepest sympathies.
skyberrys
A beautiful read, that is both happy and sad. Sad because the days of their conversations have past. Happy because the memories of their conversations will live on. But since her passing is so sudden, more sad than happy, there are so many things she didn't get to finish.
jacobgold
Sounds like Elise Cawley had a great life. Stephen Wolfram has an incredible mind and this post is a great example.
klustregrif
A very beautiful tribute to her life and memory. My condolences go out to her family.
steve_adams_86
It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, but, god damn does it still hurt to move through that loss. I'm glad it was fast and painless for her and her family.
gorgoiler
Thank you for the quote. Here is the verse in full…
In Memoriam AHH, Tennyson
I envy not in any moods
The captive void of noble rage,
The linnet born within the cage,
That never knew the summer woods:
I envy not the beast that takes
His license in the field of time,
Unfetter'd by the sense of crime,
To whom a conscience never wakes;
Nor, what may count itself as blest,
The heart that never plighted troth
But stagnates in the weeds of sloth;
Nor any want-begotten rest.
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it when I sorrow most;
Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.zem
tennyson had another immortal line that I reach for in times like this: "But oh for the touch of a vanished hand, and the sound of a voice that is still"
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45318/break-break-bre...
SirHumphrey
I keep coming back to In Memoriam AHH way more often than I would expect; it’s really a great piece of poetry.
BewareTheYiga
What a beautiful tribute.
crtified
As everybody privileged-to-know knows, a long term partner becomes an equal, and you theirs. One of life's greatest blessings. There is nothing like it.
sohrob
It sounds like the author had an amazing partner and I'm sorry for his loss.
RataNova
The mathematical biography is fascinating, but it is the tiny domestic details that stay with you...
binyu
I am so sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful and touching tribute and she was lucky to have such a loving husband.
Hasz
damn. I am so sorry to hear his wife passed, my heart goes out to him and his family. What a thoughtful tribute.
I have always been a big fan of Stephen Wolfram, I had no idea his wife was such a great mathematician.
cglan
I have no words, but this tribute is beautiful. I can’t imagine losing someone like that after so many years. Heartbreaking
frou_dh
That's neat that she designed their house. When I've seen photos of Wolfram in his house I've always thought it looked an awesome high-class place.
jasoneckert
This is a lovely and heartfelt tribute. Thanks for sharing this.
zoom6628
Beautiful and warmth-filled tribute to Elise . Gorgeous piece of writing reflecting his sense of joy, love and loss. A life well lived.
Sprotch
You can feel his love for her. Heartbreaking.
kylehotchkiss
> But from that moment on we talked essentially every day for 36 years
Man. Our culture is speed running away from one of the greatest joys you can have in your life (a healthy relationship). Stephen, if you can see this, thank you for opening up. Wishing you comfort and peace.
tim-projects
I once asked a 93 year old, what the best experience of his life was. He said being married to his wife until she died.
I've never forgotten that.
arjie
Beautiful tribute. Perhaps a reminder to self to write my own version prior to our passing. Such misfortune to be taken so young.
copperx
Wonderful tribute.
lamroger
Beautiful tribute. May we all be seen so clearly with whatever time we have on this plane.
arsenkk
Beautifully written. My condolences and wish you all the best!
throwaway5752
Stephen, we haven't met, but this was a beautiful, heartbreaking tribute. Your wife was clearly an extraordinary person. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
Should everyone have someone who loves them so much to remember them like this.
glimshe
I've been reading Wolfram quite a bit lately. I'm sad for him and the family, my condolences.
andromaton
Sorry for his loss, and for everybody helped by her in any way. However ineffective a comment like this is
Arshad-Talpur
What a tribute, what a way of writing, honestly i just felt i was living it
acm9680
she was loved, she was seen, she was valued.
arm32
I am not crying. You're crying. Oh, man. Rest in peace, Elise and I'm so sorry for your loss, Stephen.
JSeiko
My Condolences!
tibbydudeza
A beloved wife and mother and a brilliant partner as well. My condolences to the family.
inigyou
Well shit.
Also, certificate error, but that's forgiveable in the circumstances.
An amazingly detailed tribute, you'd have to think this was taken from a journal, in which case it's impressive to keep such a record of their life, or maybe Stephen just has a fantastic memory.
Even through that detail you can really feel how much he loved and admired her.
> Somehow in the shock of what has happened it feels as if I just met Elise, and now she is gone.
A reminder that time's cruelty is making the wonderful feel shorter than the painful.
> My only solace in this tragedy is that the end came instantly, after a day filled with nothing but joy.
Hopefully we're all lucky enough to be allowed to rest without suffering while surrounded by loved ones.